Merlin's Job Advert
by Camacartz
Summary: This is basically what I think Merlin's job advert would be if it was written by Arthur, now extended in to a rather crackish story : Insane OC characters but with good reason - SORCERY XD
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was a random (very short) idea I thought of while revising for my business GSCE exam, yes I do have a fantastic attention span don't I? XD****  
Anyway this is what I believe Merlin's job description/advert would be. =D**

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**ATTENTION!**

_Prince Seeks Manservant  
_

Job Includes:

- Polishing armour

- Mucking out stables

- Protecting said, oblivious, Prince with 'secret' magic

- Being an idiot

- Other ... 'special' tasks

Personal Attributes:

- Amazing cheek bones

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**A/N 2: I may continue this and I did actually have the start of it but I got writer's block and can't think of how to continue it lol. Oh well I may update if I can finish the story I started.**

**Hope you liked it anyway  
x**


	2. Chapter 2

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A/N: Okay so I decided to update (thanks to ) but it took a while because I had the start of it but couldn't think how to continue the chapter so sorry about that, also I apologise that the chapter is so short  
Hope you like it anyway  
x

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Arthur screwed up the piece of paper and threw it in to the fire to join the multitude of others already burning. He groaned andbanged his head lightly against the table. It had been three weeks since Merlin had left his service and he still couldn't get the daft, clumsy idiot out of his head. Why had he sent him away? Because he had magic? Was that really a good enough reason?

Arthur abandoned his attempts to write a suitable advert and walked over to the window, gazing out, just wishing to see Merlin stumble across the courtyard.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his thoughts. "Enter" he coughed clearing his throat.  
"Sire the King wishes for me to inquire as to how your search for a new manservant is progressing?" Leon asked hesitantly as he surveyed the pile of burning papers in the Prince's fireplace; it was no secret how the loss of Merlin had affected Arthur's mood.  
"Well you can report to 'father dearest' that the search is going fine thank you" Arthur snapped bitterly with more than a hint of sarcasm as he glared in Leon's direction. Leon nodded before leaving, deciding it was best not to reply for fear he would aggravate him further.

Arthur growled for probably the thousandth time in the past three weeks as he once again questioned his decision; it was for the best wasn't it? He'd had to protect Merlin from his father but surely he could have done it with him here, beside him? Surely that would have been easier, after all no one else knew; only him and Merlin and he wasn't going to tell. Merlin couldn't survive on his own even with magic, he needed Arthur and Arthur needed him, he realised that now. But he still couldn't understand how Merlin, _Merlin _had magic: he was the daftest, most clumsy person to have ever existed, how could he have such a great power and how could he have kept it secret? Merlin was a useless liar! Arthur had seen proof of that many times, so how had he kept such a big secret for so long without somebody knowing? Merlin was a complete enigma, one that Arthur suddenly realised he may now never get to understand. He may never see Merlin again. Arthur broke down into tears on his bed.

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**A/N: Okay so next chapter will hopefully be up quicker than this one was and will (hopefully) be looking at how Arthur found out.  
This is a bit angsty isn't it? Opps... oh well lol, not sure whether to continue you with that or make it a bit funnier, I'm not sure  
Let me know what you think  
x**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Okay so I decided to make it a bit more humouress as I don't really do angst but anyway it took a while to come up with this chapter because I was quite sure where I was going with this but now I kind of have an idea. I apologise it took a while to update and it is another short chapter but I wrote it at 1am (I have a tendency to write in the middle of the night) so sorry if it doesn't completely make sense.  
Hope you like it  
x**

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When Arthur arrived in the Great Hall a while later, after fixing his appearance, he could never let his father see him upset let alone crying, Arthur found his father and another young man waiting for him.  
"Arthur" Uther began, "since you have been unable to find a suitable replacement for your previous manservant Marlin"  
"Merlin" Arthur corrected  
"Yes, either way" Uther continued slightly put out by his son's interruption, "I took the liberty of finding you one myself. Arthur this is Eadoin, he will be your new manservant." Uther turned to the young man standing next to his throne who bowed lightly at Arthur. The man looked about a couple of years older than Arthur and had a quite mischievous look about him making him seem untrustworthy.  
"But Father" Arthur started to object  
"No need to thank me, you deserve the best and that is what Eadoin is, much better than Mervin anyway"  
"Mer_lin_" Arthur stressed the young man's name angry that his father found it so easy to forget  
"Yes, yes, whatever" Uther waved his hand dismissively, "now run along and play with your new servant, there's a good little boy Arthur, daddy's busy"  
Arthur looked at his father absolutely shocked '_Good little boy? Daddy's busy? _What the hell?' Arthur continued to stand gawping at his father for a few moments further until his father glanced back up at him from the paperwork his was inspecting to give Arthur a tender smile and a gentle "go on".

Arthur left the Great Hall immensely confused and walked to his chambers trying to process what had just happened and his father's behaviour while Eadoin followed close behind him.  
"Right" Arthur clapped his hands together, addressing Eadoin once they had entered his chambers, trying to forget his father's quite frankly disturbing behaviour, "your first task is to walk my dogs, they haven't had much exercise in a while". Merlin had always refused to walk them as he was convinced that they hated him and would just try and kill him if he went near them.  
"But Sire, it is not the dogs that require walking, it is the cows. Why don't you take the cows out for a nice bit of exercise, you do so enjoy walking them, don't you Sire?" Eadoin's eyes locked with Arthur's as he spoke, hypnotising him.  
"Yes, I think I will, I could do with sometime to relax. Thank you Eadoin."  
"My honour, your Highness, don't forget to take them through the villages, your people do so love to see the royal cows" Eadoin grinned, "Don't forget their leads" he called after the spellbound prince as he left his chambers before he smirked to himself.  
Hypnotising the prince and king was just too easy, he would soon have the whole kingdom believing that the royal family had lost their collective sanity and become the next ruler himself but if that didn't work then he still had another plan to fall back on – he'd just kill Arthur and then forcibly claim the kingdom from a grief-stricken Uther. Sometimes he just couldn't help but admire his own genius.

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**A/N: There we go let me know if you think it fits or not and any suggestions would be appreciated  
x**


	4. Chapter 4

"Arthur? What on earth are you doing?" Morgana asked, regarding him as if he'd lost his mind.  
"I've been walking the cows, Morgana" Arthur replied slowly, using a voice one would adopt when talking to a child who was rather lacking in intelligence.  
"But... why?" Morgana persisted wondering if her adopted brother had finally gone insane.  
"How would they get their exercise otherwise?" he asked rhetorically, shaking his head at her as he tugged the cows into their field while people from the lower town crowded around the fence whispering gossip to one another about their prince's mental state.  
"Surely even _Mer_..." Morgana trailed off leaving the name unfinished at the look on the blondes face, she cleared her throat awkwardly before continuing carefully, "surely no manservant thinks that cows need walking! Did Uther not introduce you to the new one he found for you?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.  
Arthur gave her a look that screamed 'for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-you-are-a-moron' for her comment about the cows but gave up on the subject deciding that she was simply a lost cause, "Yes actually, father placed Eadoin in my service this morning"  
"Well then why isn't he out... walking the cows?" she groaned internally at the ridiculousness of the situation and the fact that the whole thing just sounded like a complete innuendo.  
"Because he has more important things to do obviously"  
"Like what? Rule the kingdom? Which is what you should be helping Uther to do, not walking the damn cattle" Morgana hissed at him, trying to keep their conversation secret from the prying by-standers.  
"If you have a problem with my servant Morgana then you can go and see father about it" Arthur sighed dismissively, "now if you don't mind, I have knights' practice to attend" Arthur strode off to leave a very disgruntled and confused Morgana to find her guardian.

"Ahh, Morgana" Uther greeted as his ward flung open the doors to the throne room, his smile shocking her to a standstill, "have you meet Eadoin?" he asked happily, gesturing easily towards the smirking man sat on the arm of the throne Uther was currently occupying. Morgana slammed her jaw shut as she realised she was gaping at the scene in front of her in a most unlady-like fashion. But really, it was so completely disturbing to her to see Uther acting in such a way... he actually looked happy, but not in a good way but in an 'I'm-so-high-I-don't-care-about-anything' kind of way. It was creepy. And not least because Uther never referred to any servants by their first name, or any name really.  
"Lady Morgana!" Eadoin exclaimed slinking over to her side, taking her hand and kissing it, all the while keeping his eyes locked with hers. Morgana quickly snapped her hand away from him, shocked by his lack of propriety; that was no way for a servant to act towards a Lady. She looked to Uther for his usual severe reaction but was shocked to find him laughing jovially at the occurrence.  
"Uther, why don't you get our guest a chair?" Eadoin suggested, turning back to face the King.  
"No thank you, I'll stand" Morgana replied acidly, angered by his familiarity and Uther's obvious desire to please him as he stood up to fetch a chair.  
"Sit" Eadoin commanded her, staring deeply into her eyes  
"No" she answered stubbornly, glaring at the man's confused expression, "you cannot tell me what to do" she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room while Uther stood grinning, holding the chair out before realising it was no longer needed and swinging it round like a dance partner.  
'Hmmm', Eadoin thought to himself as he surveyed her obviously distressed retreat, 'my hypnosis seems to have no affect on the dearest Lady Morgana, well something will just have to be done about her before she gets in the way of my ingenious plan'

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A/N: I stole the for-the-love-of-all-that-is-holy-you-are-a-moron' phrase for the fic 'Over and Over' by Sushi Chi so I hope they don't mind lol i also highly recommend reading the stories (its' a series of one-shots mostly) if you're a Torchwood (well, Janto) fan =D  
Anywayz hope you enjoyed the chapter  
x


	5. Chapter 5

"Lancelot!" Morgana called as she rushed distressedly down the castle steps and into the courtyard where Lancelot was tending to his horse.

"My Lady?" he questioned, his voice laced with evident concern

"Arthur's manservant is a sorcerer!" she exclaimed in a shocked whisper. Lancelot's eyes widened thinking for one torturous moment that she had discovered Merlin's secret.

"He's in the throne room now, hypnotising Uther and Arthur!"

"Now, now, my Lady" Lancelot calmed as his heart resumed its usual rhythm as he thanked the gods that she wasn't referring to Merlin, "Are you quite sure about this? It is quite an accusation"

"Lancelot" Morgana started in a rather condescending tone, "Arthur was out walking the cows yesterday, the COWS! I know Arthur can be strange at times but as one of his most trusted knights do you not think that was a bit weird, even for him?"

Lancelot had to agree that the prince had been acting oddly since the arrival of his new manservant but had just assumed it was due to Merlin's absence.

"Look, why don't I just go and talk with Eadoin" Lancelot suggested, thinking that there must be some reasonable explanation.

"NO!" Morgana shouted, attracting the attention of everyone else in the courtyard, "That's what Leon did" she continued in a low voice, "and then he came back acting off, I even saw him _skipping_ to morning training"

Lancelot shuddered as he recalled how Leon had been acting at training – singing the latest romantic ballad, pirouetting with his sword and even making daisy chain necklaces for all the knights and a crown for prince Arthur before proceeding to tell everybody that he was off to plait his horse's mane – even where he had learnt to plait was beyond Lancelot's understanding.

"You must ride out to find Merlin at once and bring him back"

"Of course... my Lady?" Lancelot faltered, "erm... why Merlin?" he questioned. Merlin's requirement was obvious to him but why would Morgana want him

"So he can use his magic, duh" Morgana explained, eyeing Lancelot like he was a monumental idiot

"But... what... how did you...?" Lancelot stumbled out

"Everyone knows Lance; me, Gwen, Arthur, hell even Uther does. We all just chose to ignore it, well until that peasant found out and threatened to tell Uther, we liked to let him think that he's been able to keep at least one thing secret, you know what a terrible liar he is. Especially when it comes to his feelings for Arthur, but then again Arthur's not better at keeping his feelings hidden either. It seems the only people who don't know how they feel about each other is them themselves" Morgana ranted about the pairs obliviousness, "Now go! Bring Merlin back so he can fix this awful mess".

Morgana had no desire to have Uther and Arthur and now it seemed an ever-growing amount of the knights swooning and skipping around like love-sick maidens who had just become betrothed, the sooner this was sorted out the better 'and we can all live happily ever after' she thought sarcastically as she watched Lancelot ride out of the castle gates.


	6. Chapter 6

'Uther is easy to manipulate, the old fool, but his son; his son has a much stronger will. He will never let Uther just hand-over Camelot to me. The girl is enough of a problem but she will be easy to deal with, no-one will object if I merely imprison her. I need to get rid of the Crown Prince, permanently' Eadoin was pulled out of his ponderings by the arrival of his lunch. He picked up one of the strawberries by its stalk, twirling it between finger and thumb as he continued to consider his problem. 'Hmmm...'

"Arthur, I need you to do a very important, vital even, service for Camelot" Eadoin had summoned Arthur to the Great Hall to initiate his plan.

"Yes, your Awesomeness?" Eadoin smirked at his new, self-appointed title.

"I need you to personally and solely invade Cendrick's kingdom. I have it on good authority that his kingdom grows sweeter strawberries than ours so it is imperative that you go and acquisition every strawberry in the land and bring them back to Camelot. You see Arthur, Cendrick is keeping all of the poor fruit hostage in extremely poor conditions and they are, therefore, woefully unhappy at their dire mistreatment and it is your job as a prince to rescue them from such an awful fate."

"Yes, you are right your Awesomeness! I must leave now!" he agreed instantly, running from the hall to prepare his horse to leave immediately.

-x-x-

"Uther, can I be king of Camelot?" Eadoin asked him before popping a grape into his mouth

"Why would you want that?" Uther looked up from his dinner, bemused, "It's a much more difficult jib then anyone thinks you know" he starts in a woe-be-me tone of voice, "you have to make all these decisions, the people expect you to solve all of their problems, the public despises you AND this silly crown messes up your stylish hair-do" he finished glumly, sighing into his meal.

Eadoin's eyes gleamed as he saw his opportunity, "Because I want to help you Uther. We're friends; I want to take away the stress. Let me do this for you Uther" his voice was smooth and convincing maintaining eye contact with the king at all times.

"Okay, I don't see why not" Uther agrees, smiling dumbly tucking back into his food.

-x-x-

"UTHER PENDRAGON!" Morgana bellowed as she swept into the Great Hall

"Yes Morgana dear?" Uther asked, clearly not sensing the anger in her voice

"Have you actually, seriously handed over control of the kingdom to that _slime ball_?"

"Slime ball?" Uther asked thoughtfully, "oh, do you mean Eadoin?"

"Well duh unless you've been giving away the kingdom to anyone else!"

"No Morgana, I haven't 'been giving away the kingdom' I have passed on control of Camelot to Eadoin as I believe he will be a good ruler for our people. I am too old and too tired to do this anymore"

"But what about _Arthur_?"

"_What_ about Arthur? He's a grown man now Morgana, he doesn't need his daddy as king to protect him"

"No but he IS your natural heir and has more right to the throne than this servant"

"Well Morgana dear, you're always the one who talks about equality and fair treatment of servants." Uther smirked at Morgana's obvious outrage at the twisting of her ideals, "but that's not why I agree to it" he sighed, "I didn't want him to have to go through all of this; all the stress and heartbreak and pressure of having to lead and protect an entire kingdom and its people."

"Uther..." Morgana began

"Ah, Uther, Morgana, here you are" Eadoin announced as he strolled into the room wearing Uther's crown, "I have a few... changes to announce"

"Changes? Changes like what? And who gave you the right..." Morgana raged

"Oh Morgana, Morgana" Eadoin interrupted, "I thought you would make things difficult for me which is why I have already made provisions for such an occurrence"

"What exactly do you mean by provisions?" Morgana asked shock and fear playing on her face

"This" Eadoin clapped his hands and two guards walked into the hall grabbing Morgana's arms

"What do you think you're doing? Let go of me!" she struggled against them violently

"Take the troublesome wretch to the dungeons and keep her restrained there. She can be my _personal _servant".

"Let go! You can't do this! Uther! Uther!" Morgana screamed as she was dragged out of the hall, her cries going unacknowledged by her guardian.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Arthur heard voices approaching him and quickly dove behind the foliage at the edge of the dirt-track. He peered out between the leaves to see the backs of two men in heated discussion.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"Merlin!" Lancelot called out as he spotted the young warlock disappearing in the trees ahead. He'd been travelling for two days until he'd eventually tracked the man down in a forest in Cendrick's kingdom.

"Merlin" he said again as he caught up with the man, his horse had been left tied up to a tree at the edge of the forest awaiting his return.

"Lancelot? What are you doing here?" Merlin questioned looking surprised yet pleased to see the knight.

"I'm here to bring you back to Camelot"

"Back to Camelot? Lance are you insane? I can't go back, Arthur knows my secret Lance, he knows!"

"Yeah, you said" Lance mocked but halted his snigger at the glare Merlin sent him, "look Merlin, Arthur has been moping around the castle ever since you left and hasn't managed to keep a servant longer than a day; he misses you"

"He'll kill me"

"No Merlin, he really won't, why would he have sent you away if he'd wanted you to die?"

"Because he knows I can't hunt to save my life" Merlin muttered trying to invent a reason

"Ha well that is true" Lance laughed at Merlin's attempt to conceal his grin with a glare, "Arthur's in trouble Merlin, him and Camelot"

"What?"

"There's this guy, servant, Eadoin or something. He's... affecting everyone in some way, well everyone but Morgana. He's making them all act really weird. He must be enchanting them or something"

"What do you mean weird?"

"Well, they're complying to his every request and bending to his will without question. They're going around grinning like idiots. Leon was skipping the other day, _skipping_! Knights of Camelot do not skip! I think he's trying to control them, maybe to control Camelot; to takeover"


	7. Chapter 7

Eadoin sat slumped in the throne, one leg sung over the arm of it while Uther's crown lay haphazardly at an angle on his head, only held in place by his lost- cause of a hairstyle. He absently rolled a gold coin through his fingers as he admired the huge emerald set in the ring on his other hand. He'd had a multitude of servants carry all of Camelot's riches from the secure vaults underneath the castle to the Great Hall where they sat behind and to the sides of his throne so that his wealth was on prominent display to all who entered the room. Uther sat at the foot of the throne, enthusiastically polishing Eadoin's boots and adhering to his every whim with the manner of an excited puppy.

Morgana entered the hall, for once free of her restricting shackles but still wearing what were close to rags, carrying a large platter of food.

"Your lunch _my Lord_" she spat, addressing Eadoin acidly as she dumped the tray on the table beside the throne, turning on her heel and promptly leaving after giving her guardian a despairing look only to get a lopsided, sickeningly happy grin in return, a look so unnatural on Uther's face that it was disturbing to behold. What the man had to be happy about Morgana could not understand: his kingdom had been stolen from him; his son had not been seen or heard from in weeks and he no longer got to wear his swishy cape of authority. She did know he was under a spell as it seemed was everybody else in the confines of Camelot but she didn't know why it made them all so happy or agreeable. Uther had even not only agreed to but had been excited by her suggestion that she marry a random stable-hand and live in a pigsty with him or maybe even a her, offering to plan the entire wedding for them and not understanding why Morgana had stormed away from him with a frustrated and angry growl.

Morgana lent against the balcony, surveying the courtyard as she wished Lancelot's mission would be successful and that he would return soon before once again wondering where Arthur was and hoping he was alright.

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Sorry it's so short guys but it was just a little thing I wanted to fit in to show life in Camelot =)  
Hope you liked it anywayz x


	8. Chapter 8

'Hang on' thought Arthur as he crept closer to get a better look, 'I'd recognise those cheek bones anywhere'

"Merlin!" he exclaimed happily as he leapt out of the foliage, making both Merlin and Lancelot shriek like little girls (a fact that both would later firmly deny)

"Arthur?" Merlin jumped, shocked, "What are you..." he was cut off by an excitable Arthur who had grabbed him by the shirt and proceeded to jump up and down shouting "Merlin, Merlin, Merlin! I've missed you sooo much!" before he planted a huge kiss on Merlin's cheek. He let go of his stunned manservant and turned to address his knight, "Hey Lancelot", who took a wary step back, eyeing Arthur suspiciously as he returned the greeting.

Arthur, completely unfazed by Lancelot's reaction, kept grinning like an idiot who'd just won the prize for being the biggest idiot in the history of the universe, turning to once again face Merlin as he managed to regain the ability to speak, "Arthur, what are you doing here? This is Cendrick's kingdom"

"I know that silly, I'm here to liberate all the poor strawberries from their awful suffering" Arthur informed him, hoping to impress Merlin with his heroic act.

"You're here to rescue fruit? Have you any idea what danger you're putting your people in, risking war for some strawberries?" Merlin gaped incredulously

"But... they need rescuing, they're being tortured!" Arthur answered rocking the kicked puppy look

"THEY ARE FRUIT ARTHUR! They can't feel pain!"

"How would you know? Have you ever been a fruit?" He replied childishly, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Children, children" a voice interjected from between the trees, "You may not want to draw so much attention to yourselves" the voice continued as the figure stepped out on to the path

"Who are you?" Lance demanded, drawing his sword and pointing it at the figure

"Relax Lance, it's just Gwaine" Merlin calmed while Arthur bounded up to his friend before jumping on him

"Gwaine!" he shrilled happily as he gripped the man in a bear-like hug

"What the...?" Merlin couldn't stop himself from laughing at Gwaine's shocked expression

"See Gwaine, I told you some nobles are nice"

"Not funny Merlin, and this is not what I would call nice!" Gwaine continued to struggle against Arthur's grip until he was finally relinquished to be faced by a grinning Arthur who hadn't seemed to notice his protests.

"What's wrong with him?" Gwaine asked Merlin, gesticulating wildly in Arthur's direction

"He's been hypnotised by a sorcerer who's taken over Camelot" Lance replied, as Merlin attempted to stop Arthur from picking some flowers

"Oh is that all? Well good luck to him"

"Excuse me? Who are you exactly?"

"Gwaine" He answered offering his hand out for Lancelot to shake

"Lancelot"

"I am not hypnotised!" Arthur suddenly interjected (slow much) as he paused his attempt to pull Merlin to the floor

"Yes you are Arthur" Merlin sighed as he flopped to the ground next to the prince

"Yeah you don't seem to be acting quite yourself mate" Gwaine added

"That's because I'm in love"

"Are you now?"

"Yep, with Merlin"

"Aww, well isn't that nice?" Gwaine smirked looking at Lance's exasperated face

"Yes it is" Arthur replied proudly while Gwaine looked to Lance for an explanation

"He actually is, but he's never admitted it, the hypnotism seems to be making everyone so happy and care free even Uther - "

"Uther? He wouldn't know how to be care free if all his cares ran out of the castle screaming 'we're free!'"

Lance laughed, "No I wouldn't believe it either but he is, all the knight's that have spoken to this man - "

"Eadoin the Awesome" Arthur piped up, causing all of them to look at him like he was insane, "what?" he whined, "that's his name"

"Anywaayy" Lance continued, sparing a worried look for his prince, "he's hypnotised everyone, except the Lady Morgana, the knight's of Camelot have been wearing daisy chains and skipping everywhere"

"Knights acting like little girls? Now this I have to see" Gwaine sniggered

"He has a point, we should get back to Camelot, I'd quite like to meet this amazing Eadoin" Merlin stated

"Awesome" Arthur corrected

"Wait, did you say Eadoin? I've heard of him. Reckons he's really powerful but all he can really do is make people give him their fortune by making them feel sickeningly happy and like they don't need the money or power. He has an obsession with gold and materialistic things, craves the stuff, needs it. He turned over Riordan's kingdom last year; I heard rumours of it as I passed through. Apparently he had them all at his beck and call, spending all their money on stupid little things; nearly bankrupted them. Living the high life he was, till Riordan's brother returned that is, boy was he angry, chased him out of the kingdom, crying out for his head. The guy escaped though, been hunted for ever since, guess we know where he is now though" Gwaine smiled, "You know Merlin, I think I might have a solution to Camelot's problem"

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A/N: Sorry I just had to bring Gwaine in to it, I love him so much lol I apologise if you haven't seen the third series yet but hopefully this isn't too confusing, Gwaine is a knight of the Round Table in the original legend anyhow  
What a very convenient plot line this is XD  
Anywayz hope you liked it x


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